Best Out of Office replies on emails..

1 - You are receiving this automatic notification because I am out of the office. If I was in, chances are you wouldn't have received anything at all.

2 - I will be unable to delete all the unread, worthless emails you send me until I return from holiday in September. Please be patient and your mail will be deleted in the order it was received.

3 - Thank you for your message, which has been added to a queuing system. You are currently in 352nd place, and can expect to receive a reply in approximately 19 weeks.

5 - Hi. I'm thinking about the message you've just sent me. Please wait by your computer for my response..